Posted: 09/05/07

I'm so bored with the USA
Looking both ways...

Ryan Lowell l columnist
rlowell@smcvt.edu

Looking both ways…

“The essayist is a self-liberated man, sustained by the childish belief that everything he thinks about, everything that happens to him is of general interest…only a person who is congenitally self-centered has the effrontery and stamina to write essays.” - E.B. White

It was an uneventful morning in Penobscot, Maine, today.  I ignored the 6:15 a.m. static of my alarm clock for several minutes before rolling out of my bed sheets and into a pair of cutoff jean shorts – all the trendy carpenters in down-east Maine are sporting them this season.  On my way to the construction site, I rubbed my groggy eyes and looked to the left before crossing the road to grab the paper. All in all, a pretty routine start.

You’re probably wondering why the Echo is letting some bum that isn’t even starting classes for another month write a column about how boring his morning was (and the editors themselves might be too), but according to Mr. White’s wisdom, I will try to be narcissistic enough to keep writing until all becomes clear.

You see I’m about to spend the first half of my senior year abroad at Royal Holloway in London, having life-altering adventures and gaining a wider worldview in the process, and I’m extremely excited to tell you all about it (ie: brag). The only problem is, it is hard to describe the details of said adventures before they actually happen. 

I’d love to tell you all about what London is like, all of the things you would never assume without going there and all of the assumptions you have already made that aren’t true, but assumptions are all I’ve got to work with so far. I mean aside from pawing through a couple of books with a similar picture-to-word ratio as compared to Paris Hilton’s autobiography, the only things I’ve learned about London come from Clash records, Guy Ritchie movies and one of the harder levels on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4.

Total lack of knowledge considered, I still felt that this week is a notable moment in the upcoming journey, serving as a calm before the storm I am about to embrace. I have vacationed in other countries around the world before, but I’ve always come back feeling like I had an American experience.

I’ve stayed in cushy hotels and I’ve burned through countless rolls of film on various tourist attractions, but this has always left me headed back for home feeling like I was nothing more than a passive visitor. As a small town space ball who frequently gets lost in Burlington, I have always found it comfortable to stick to designated American vacation zones in the countries I have visited (like this summer when I was quick to pass up kiwi cuisine in New Zealand for an “authentic” Chicago deep dish frozen pizza).

This time, it’s different though. This time I’m taking every precaution to make myself uncomfortable, and I can’t wait. I’m leaving the all inclusive convenience of “Club SMC” for a land where I’ll have to commute to class, pay for gym access, go without television in my room and even cook my own meals! I hope they sell a lot of Ye Olde ramen noodles near my flat. I could be avoiding much of this by studying in an American program abroad, but I’ve opted to check out a British University to maximize the potential for awkward situations to arise.

Yes, life is about to change dramatically in a few weeks; I mean the cars don’t even drive on the same side of the road where I’m going. Chances are, I will find myself overwhelmed at times, and begging for the days when I was yawning in boredom as I trudged to my mailbox. But at the very least, I will have some lively stories to keep you from yawning in boredom as you trudge through this column. The days of  looking left before crossing have been fun, but now it’s time to try something different. I’m about to look right and never look back.