October 24, 2007

The Rant Corner
The Christmas Surplus

Stew Shearer l contributing columnist
sshearer@smcvt.edu

Perusing the various stores of University Mall this past weekend it occurred to me that save for miscellaneous stores like Spencer’s and the seasonal Spooky Town, that Halloween has not been featured in stores as it should be. Rather, walking into a department store you are likely to see Christmas decorations on display and ads for that beloved holiday already at work. While I do not dislike this holiday, it really has gotten ridiculous how much of an ever-expanding portion of the year has become devoted to Christmas. It’s almost as if we (or at least the stores) have forgotten that along the way to it there are two other major holidays and they deserve their fair share of floor time.

Perhaps I am biased because out of the entire year, the month of October and the Halloween season are my favorites. The weather is cool enough for my tastes and you won’t find any better television than the old horror movies that are played on television almost ceaselessly during this month. The idea that I can switch on the TV and be treated to "Night of the Living Dead,"" Halloween" and "The Exorcist" (you need to watch older movies if you want good horror) is a source of enormous pleasure for me. Ghost stories, horror novels; all of these are brought to the forefront during Halloween and being a fan of such sorts of playful spookiness, Halloween is the perfect time of year for me.

But walking into Kohl’s this weekend I saw a massive display of Christmas trees rather than Halloween decorations. Similar spectacles of Santa Claus’ growing domination awaited me at a number of other stores and it just makes me shake my head. Do we really need that much Christmas?

The department stores of the world wouldn’t be putting out their Christmas stuff this early if people weren’t willing to buy it all, and while I am put off by it, a lot of other people are probably eating it up. For some people, Christmas is the supreme day to look forward to each year. It has everything - presents, presumably good food, and typically a gathering of available family members. It has pretty decorations and a catalogue of peppy music that few other holidays could ever hope to match. And every once in a while it has a new Tickle Me Elmo for those alpha parents out there to obsess over so that their young children can have the “perfect” holiday experience.

On some levels Christmas has become just another grossly commercialized holiday, one where you open some presents and eat some turkey. By the time Christmas comes we’ve all been force-fed the Jingle Bells culture for a quarter of the year and I’m sure I am not alone in my desire by then to punch Rudolph in his red nose.

This is not a difficult problem to solve. Just show some restraint and shorten the season! Christmas will still be the same if you put your lights up in December rather than in November or for the really early birds, October even. Santa Claus’ sleigh will not fall from the sky if there isn’t Christmas music playing from every radio station. All that happens when you turn it into a three-month extravaganza is giving more time for hungry corporations to commercialize the season in an attempt to get more of your money.

So while people should absolutely enjoy the holiday, perhaps a little moderation would be advisable. Instead of socking the parent in front of you hoping they might drop their copy of the new of Elmo, find your kid something else. Chances are they’ll play with it just as happily for the same length of time as they would with that giggly little monster. If they cry and throw a fit because they didn’t get it, well good; any kid who would ball because they didn’t get an Elmo doll on Christmas is a spoiled brat and deserves some disappointment.

Enjoy your family whether or not they’re with you on Christmas Day. I am sick and tired of all these Christmas specials where someone is trying to have the “perfect” Christmas and it is then “ruined” by some member of the family not being able to make it on time. Then through a predictable series of events in which the character in question (usually depicted as a self-centered jerk) finds Christmas spirit, they return home right in the nick of time and everyone is happy. You should just be happy to see your family when they can see you and maybe even save them a drumstick.

There are two fine holidays prior to Christmas and they deserve their fair share of attention as well. So this October I beg of you to please bypass the Christmas decorations and buy some fake headstones to put in your yard. Nothing says Halloween like a pretend cemetery. Or if that’s not your style just take your child to the mall and help them pick out a Halloween costume. When November comes, rather than stocking up on candy canes just relax. Thanksgiving is around the corner and the time you spend hanging the lights outside could be used to research a new recipe for stuffing. Then in December do as you please. Set up a tree with all the trimmings, gorge yourself on candy canes and eggnog, and listen to Christmas music until your ear drums explode.

Just remember that Santa Claus has no place in November. That month is reserved for pilgrims and turkeys and in October the only holiday-related music coming out of your radio should be the Monster Mash. Jingle Bells can wait.