It’s not an understatement to say we spend a large portion of our time at St. Michael’s in Alliot. Whether you’re there for food, friends, or a chance to catch up on some last-minute homework, everyone is familiar with Alliot. Most know the daily routines involved in obtaining meals. As a junior, I have developed a list of annoyances that I have observed in my attempts to acquire my desired foods each day.
Let me begin by mentioning the periodical bursts of students that all choose to rush into Alliot at the same time each day. This includes lunch right around 11:40 a.m. and dinner at about 6 p.m. The line of students stretching out the door resembles a heard of animals waiting to be fed. Right when I get out of my class at 11:40, I bound to Alliot to beat this rush every day for feeding time. I hate lines anywhere, period. Once you get past those vigilant gatekeepers by swiping that magical Knightcard, you realize you only waited in line to wait in more lines. The lines always form at the same food categories. Want salad, wait in line. Want a wrap, wait in a bigger line. Want chef’s corner, forget about it, you can try again at dinner. Apparently everyone at St. Michael’s has the same taste buds.
My next complaint goes to all you “Nalgeners” out there. You know who you are. You’re the people who hold up the beverage lines because you need to fill up your gallon-sized Nalgene bottles that take 10 minutes just to fill half-way. I am happy you’re saving the environment, but I am on to you all. I know you’re not going to drink that gallon at lunch or dinner, and you are secretly just smuggling liquid contraband out of Alliot, right under the gatekeepers’ noses. Next time, save me five minutes by using a cup. It may sound old-fashioned, but they have worked for me over the last 20 years. Quit being greedy and buy a normal sized water bottle instead. The Nalgene trend is over anyways, since all the health concerns have been forming about chemicals in the plastic.
The last complaint is dedicated to the group of people I have termed the “bagel buzzards.” This group of people vexes me the most. All I want is to get my cup of orange juice, but every day there is a mob formed right in that vicinity. I ask myself if they are they all waiting for OJ, then my common sense kicks in and I realize not many drink OJ anymore. So the next logical question is what are these buzzards all flocking around? As I push my way through the crowd, I discover they are all waiting for their bagels and English muffins to rotate around the ancient toaster oven. These people just hover, patiently scouring for bagel halves before they slide down that miraculous shoot. Listen people, your bagels are not going anywhere, so why don’t you all relax, go grab something else to eat while you’re waiting, and get out of my way so I can get my OJ. That toaster oven moves slower than my old cat Roseanne, and she’s dead.
The list goes on.