December 5, 2007

The Rant Corner
A little bit of everything

Stew Shearer l contributing columnist
sshearer@smcvt.edu

There a lot of things that annoy me in this world. That is a stupid thing to say of course; there are a lot of things that annoy every person in the world. I am far from unique in this aspect and the only thing that sets me apart from any other Joe on the street is that I have a “sort of” public venue (a college column, while loads of fun, isn’t exactly writing for The Times) with which to rant about them (get it, “The Rant Corner?”). So with no further ado let’s delve into the frustrated parts of my mind and try to have a good time on the way.

A few months back “Manhunt 2,” a video game I had been watching with interest was banned in England and given an “Adults Only” rating North American. For those of you unaware, an AO rating is pretty much a ban in the United States because most of the major companies (Sony and Nintendo in this case) refuse to allow AO rated games on their consoles. The reason for the ban in England was due to the nature of the game which the British government stated was laced with “unremitting bleakness, casual sadism, callousness of tone.” Anyone who played the original Manhunt will quickly join me in saying “DUH.” The Manhunt games are supposed to be virtual horror films. They’re games you play with the lights all out so they’re scarier. Content-wise they are gory affairs but not anymore so than seen in modern horror films. But that didn’t matter?

The game was released eventually in the United States after the developers agreed to some editing (a.k.a neutering) but is still contraband in England.  The BBFC (British Board of Film Classifications) responded to such criticisms by citing that children could potentially play the game despite its adult-oriented subjects and ratings. This is a common criticism and it drives me crazy. Video games have had ratings for years, and most stores will not sell inappropriate games to underage people. The only way for a child to get their hands on a game like Manhunt 2 is for their parents to buy it for them. The issue with violent games is not that they’re inappropriate for adults, but that too many parents are too lazy to read the box and see if their kid shouldn’t be playing it. Responsible people (like myself) who want to play a scary game are no different from people who want to see a scary movie and should not be punished for the ineptitude of others.

Moving on, let’s talk about fast food. McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and occasionally Taco Bell; I love them. I know, this is completely politically incorrect. And apart from fast food chains being yet another arm of America’s expanding global empire (note the sarcasm), they are probably the least healthy thing I could ever want to eat. I am a college student. I don’t make a lot of money, and rather than forking over $20 for a meal that’s healthy, I on occasion prefer to pay $5 for junk. I like junk; it tastes really, really good. So to those people out there who would insist upon trying to force the facts of McDonald’s grotesque food practices down my throat, I get it. McDonald’s food is gross. I just don’t care. If you want to eat healthy all the time then so be it, but let me live in peace.

I am friends with healthy eaters who don’t feel the need to try and force me to be like them, so please take a note and shut your traps. We’re all going to die someday. Whether or not your arteries are slightly less clogged then mine will not make you anymore alive in the end than me.

I am tired of the kind of idiots who think the most hilarious thing in the world is to pull a fire alarm on the weekend. You’re imbeciles, every last one of you. Not only are you waking up an entire building full of people who want nothing more than to sleep, and not be dragged into a cold winter night, if you live in Canterbury Hall you’re actually hurting someone. A student who lives there suffers from epilepsy and when she wakes she suffers from uncontrollable jerks that can lead to seizures. On two separate occasions, the fire alarm was pulled in Canterbury and she suffered a seizure as a result. Before the second time, two editorials and a news article had run in the Defender about her and her condition. But I guess it didn’t sink in for the morons on campus who think its so much fun to reenact the stupidity of their high school days (I mean, who does this in college?) and pull the fire alarm. Maybe they were drunk, because we all know that excuses everything. “I chose to be an ass but don’t blame me, I was hammered.”  Here’s an idea, why don’t the people who do this just drop out? We don’t need you here, and St. Michael’s College would be a better place if the moldy pieces of cheese you call brains were rotting at home instead of here. There are a lot better people in the world who deserve a good education and we don’t need these morons taking up the space.

So, while that far from wraps it up, I am running out of space. Have a nice break everyone!